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Picking Your Meddlers

We crowdsource everything these days–from our outfits and hairstyles to what TV shows to watch or books to read. And when it comes to dating, many of us employ the same strategy.

This might not look as obvious as a “Hey all, what new show should I start streaming this weekend?” post*, but asking your nearest and dearest for input on your dating life happens all the time. The most textbook example? You’re out with a group of friends, bemoaning your exhaustion over finding a ‘decent’ date via various dating apps, and so you hand your phone over, giving them carte blanche to swipe for you.

With Meddle, you’re not waiting for that exhaustion to settle in, nor are you restricted to using those friends who just happen to be out with you that night. You get to pick, from the beginning, a group of people whose advice you already implicitly trust with your love life. Sound scary? It may be, but we’ve distilled some of our best advice on how to pick your Meddlers.

You Trust them Implicitly

We literally just mentioned this above, but it bears repeating. Choose friends (or family members) who have your best interest at heart and whose judgement you won’t spend a minute second-guessing. Your best friend who you just stood up for at her wedding and gave a killer toast for? Absolutely. Your roommate who still holds a grudge for that well-intentioned but awkward blind date you set him up on a few months ago? Maybe not.

They Know What You’re Looking For (perhaps more than you do)

These are the folks in your life that have seen the ups and downs of your dating life. They know what you’re looking for in an ideal partner, but also have (thoughtful) ideas of their own on what that person should bring to the table. They understand your key strengths but also recognize your areas for growth, and will pick matches for you accordingly.

You Share a Similar Sense of Adventure

You both know how to approach this opportunity–as a chance to meet some awesome people with whom you’re hoping there’s long-term potential. They’re going to be excited about their role as one of your Meddlers, but not take it so seriously that it paralyzes their ability to actually swipe right.

In essence, live by the immortal words of Cher Horowitz, “You see how picky I am about my shoes and they only go on my feet.”

cher from clueless says "as if!"

“Clueless” (1995)

*But if it did, we imagine it might sound like this: “Friends! Should I date blondes or brunettes? Let me know your advice in the comments below!”